They get a new cast, move in a new direction or take on a new topic.

The original intent of this blog was to tackle my quest to conquer a 5k.

I did that…and then basically…well, I did that. To be honest, I look back…and [...]]]> TV shows, movie franchises and magazines reboot all the time.

They get a new cast, move in a new direction or take on a new topic.

The original intent of this blog was to tackle my quest to conquer a 5k.

I did that…and then basically…well, I did that. To be honest, I look back…and while I did a pretty decent job documenting the runs and the workouts, I didn’t document me all that well. For my own sake, I didn’t delete the old stuff, but it’s set to where only I can view it…because I’m special like that.

Lots of blogs you’ll find on the Internet feature a few things that I’ve noticed: the person succeeds on the first go-round; you know nothing about the person other than their workout, their weight, etc.; the person used to be athletic, stopped and came back; everyone always seems to be able to do more than I can do. It’s discouraging. I’ve never been athletic. I’m a 31-year-old man with boobs. I want to read someone post a blog about how embarrassing it is to workout when you realize the moment that you are a man with boobs (mine was when I tried to wear a messenger bag the traditional way and it split my cleavage).

I also notice a lot of blogs use the word “journey” – I’ve been guilty of that as well. However, the more I realize it, it’s not a journey. You’re not going anywhere…unless you jump in front of a car or something and then I guess you’ll go to the hospital or the afterlife…so I guess there’s the journey in that. What would be really interesting is if you somehow got hit by a Dodge Journey…while you were listening to Journey. The point being, I’ve decided to use the word “quest” for two reasons. The first being, “quest” sounds a bazillion times more awesome than “journey”. When people set off on a journey, you picture camels and bags and long, arduous days. When they set off on a quest, you expect just awesomeness. So this is a quest. The second reason – I actually am seeking out something. I’m seeking my life back: health, fitness, happiness. I’m seeking normalcy. I don’t want to be the fat dude who can never find shirts that fit and look good and all that stuff.

During the day, when I’m not a 300+ pound fitness guru, I work in Human Resources. It’s a glamorous job, let me tell you. The rest of the time, I’m a hockey-blogger, credentialed by the Nashville Predators. I sometimes travel to such exotic locales as Columbus, Ohio, and Hershey, Pennsylvania…on my own dime. Okay, I actually love it. Love it so much that I’m running my second blog right here and we might get into hockey a little…although probably not too much for a while as the Preds are out of the playoffs.

My name is Patten. It’s spelled with an -e. If you spell it with an -o (as in “Patton”, not as in “Oatten”), then I may ignore your e-mail or comments…not because I’m being rude, but because I think you’re talking to someone else.

I’m incredibly unathletic. I’ve admittedly played sports all my life, but I’ve sucked at the majority of them. I spent an entire season of kid-pitch baseball without getting a hit. I struck out in slow-pitch church league softball. I wrestled for two seasons on my middle-school wrestling team and didn’t win a single match on the mat (I won one by forfeit, bringing my record to something like 1-24). I played basketball in church leagues and at the Y from 6th grade until my senior year of high school and scored all of 5 points (but like a superstar, that 5th point came on the final shot of my “career”). However, I was All-State in one sport in high school – the Air Rifle team. And, last Labor Day, I actually completed a 5k.

Of course, if you’ve followed my illustrious running career – which I’m sure you have – you know that last summer was about my 5th try at the “Couch to 5k” or a similar program. It was the first time I actually finished the entire program and the first time I ran an entire 5k without taking a walk break.

Rocking my way to fitness, right? Wrong. Instead of keeping up with the running, I found my couch to be way more inviting and thus completed the couch-to-5k-to-couch for the first time in my life.

If you’re coming to this blog for advice, I’m going to admit up that I don’t have a remote clue what I’m doing. I’m not trained or certified or have any fancy letters after my name giving credence to any of my advice or opinions. So if I say something crazy or do something stupid, just call me on it.

Tomorrow we begin our quest.

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